At Least We Know . . .

Over on her blog Cyberspace Sarah is remembering our winter vacation to Naples last year. The only thing that would have made it more fun would have been if we had actually gone somewhere. We had a pretty good time anyway. She is taking suggestions for this year. You should go to her site and suggest something. Sometimes she gives things away.

I have a slightly used 2008 Guide to the Caribbean I could donate in a couple of weeks.

I am trying to talk her into taking the kids to Mt. Rushmore with me after school lets out. She wants to go somewhere alone with her husband. Whatever, if that sort of thing interests you. Chicago with Captain America or a van full of kids to South Dakota. Seems like a no-brainer to me. I think we could even make room for Mom.

In other news:
Jeremy J and I were talking about irony yesterday, and I found this thing which just cracked me up . . . because I am a geek who finds jokes about literary jargon funny. Someone was looking for examples of irony and someone else responded with corrections to the Alaniss Morissette song "Ironic" which ironically isn't.

Are you still reading?

An old man turned ninety-eight. He won the lottery and died the next day . . . of chronic emphysema from inhalation of the latex particles scratched off decades' worth of lottery tickets.

A black fly in your Chardonnay . . . poured to celebrate the successful fumigation of your recently purchased vineyard in southern France.

A death row pardon two minutes too late . . . because the governor was too busy watching Dead Man Walking to grant clemency any earlier.

Rain on your wedding day . . . to Ra, the Egyptian sun-god.

A free ride when you've already paid . . . all of your money to the good-natured cab driver when you mistook him for a mugger.

The good advice that you just didn't take . . . after reading Norman Vincent Peale's The Power of Positive Thinking and resolving that the key to success is making your own decisions.

Mr. Play-it-Safe was afraid to fly. He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye. He waited his whole d*** life to take that flight. And as the plane crashed down, he thought, Well isn't this nice . . . now I'll never make it to the National Association of Aviophobics conference in Reno, NV.

A traffic jam when you're already late . . . to receive an award from the Municipal Planning Board for reducing the city's automobile congestion 80 percent.

A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break . . . at the R.J. Reynolds Tobacco corporate offices in Winston-Salem, North Carolina.

Ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife . . . with which to kill your spouse for sleeping with the young soup chef who works at the Au Bon Pain.

Meeting the man of my dreams and then meeting his beautiful wife . . . who happens to be the psychiatrist I recently hired in hopes of improving my luck with the opposite sex.