Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Dear Hallmark,

This blog is dedicated to our friend Jeremy J.

Does Hallmark carry a line of divorce cards? Perhaps something sympathetic? In your time of sorrow . . . I don't think that would be quiet right. Or maybe something funny. How do you get rid of 125 pounds fast? DIVORCE! No, I wouldn't feel comfortable with that either. Maybe it should be simple: Congratulations AND I'm sorry. Yes, I think if Hallmark made a card to that effect it would be a big hit. Maybe they already do.

Having lived as part of a blended family for 15 years, I can tell you for sure -- divorce is not easy. Even when everyone is perfectly pleasant and doing what's best for the kids -- divorce is not easy. Sure, I have seen pictures of Ashton, Demi and Bruce. Whatever. Either these people are completely shallow and do not feel human emotions OR they benefit from the publicity. Probably both.

When I was getting married and becoming a stepparent I was doing some postgraduate work (and then went promptly back to my old job, but that's another story). I had a great professor who told me he'd been divorced and remarried 20 years or something at the time. He said he and his ex wife got along very well. Their daughter loved both of her stepparents very much, but in her heart of hearts she wished her parents were still married. He thought perhaps she would like it if the stepparents married each other and they could stay one big happy family.

Jeremy and Shelby's step dad is a great guy, but I think they know that wouldn't work.

Being part of a family which has gone through divorce . . . well, I wouldn't trade them for anything . . . but it has been a major road on our journey of faith. Brent and I have learned that God loves us no matter what we've been through, even when we made bad choices. He equips and strengthens us in situations we thought we could not get through. He blesses us in spite of ourselves and brings us peace and joy.

So, Hallmark, here's my card:

(picture of cherub holding flower)
I am sorry things could not be worked out and you have had to go through this. Congratulations on getting through this far. We will be thinking of you and praying for you as you rebuild your life and your family.


  1. Wow - I'm totally speechless.

    It's like listening to American Top 40 over the car stereo while driving along Lake Minnewaska and hearing Casey Kasem himself say:

    "This week's long distance dedication comes from the heartland. We all know how tough life can be, but with the support of good friends who are always in your life - you can pull through and become an even better person.

    So, Jeremy, we dedicate Whitesnake's latest hit - "Here I Go Again" - from your friends in Minnesota."

    OK - maybe I'm not speechless.

    But, I truly appreciate the words and the meaning behind them. Throughout this process, I've been challenged to go either "high" or "low" and I hope that I've always chosen a position that maintains my honor and general classification as a good guy. It is wonderful friends, like your family, that offer an honest foundation and the inspiration for me to keep on that path.

    So, thank you. I promise not to wait another ten years before re-establishing contact. I'm also deeply honored to become part of your blog.

    Pretty soon, my celebrity status might make its way to Perez Hilton. Look out paparazzi!